"It's common knowledge that aliens or the government or something is beaming harmful signals throughout the universe nonstop, 24/7. This is what makes almost everyone mindless hypnoslaves, forced to conform to society's norms. But not you, for you are wisely covering your head with dynamic space-age metal, the only substance known to repel those hypnowaves: tin foil. With your homemade tin foil hat, your brain is safe."
Boy, what would the fellas have said about Howard Cunningham if he had gone to a Leopard Lodge meeting in one of these?
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